tomorrow

I'm writing the performance for my students.

It is about what's happening right now.

As a middle school teacher, I can not end a performance in sadness, in a dark place...

So I was looking for hope...

but I found none

belonging x fitting in

 We all want to belong, that's the obvious part.

But what many of us miss in that journey is the fact that belonging doesn't mean fitting in. 

Sometimes, to fit it to belong, we cut out parts of our selves, which is also obvious in a way. It does take a while, though, to understand that bit.

I guess what I am trying to say is that if you are trying to fit in to belong somewhere, you don't belong there.

Belongingness comes with acceptance. You accept yourself so you fit within yourself. Others accept you for who you are, not because you amputed parts of you to fit within a group or a person.

The only place you must fit is within yourself, feel comfortable inside your own skin, because in the end of the day, nobody comes to rescue you, to comfort you, nobody can.

They can support you, hug you, accept you, understand you, but they can not go under your skin and make your feel a thing. They shouldn't.

Don't let anybody get under your skin. That is a holy place where only you belong.

If you find yourself reshaping, modifying, cutting out or adding on things to make yourself acceptable to a person or a group of people just so you feel that you belong, you will end up very frustrated and hurt.

That happens because is no one's job to make you feel good, but yours only. You are the one in charge of your own existence. Do not expect what should come from within be supplied by anyone else, because that's impossible.

If you feel like yourself, if you love yourself, if you accept yourself for who you are, it doesn't matter what other people think. Because the ones who truly love and accept you, they will never ask you to cut off or to add on anything. 

Of course, everybody changes, we are always evolving and it's part of our journey in this life.

But evolution doesn't look like changing the essence of you. Evolution looks like understanding that everyone is on their own journey flying solo through this life trying to do the best out of it.

Find those who enhance your own essence, and maybe are in a closer place in their journey as you are.

When we try to mingle with people that are either ahead of us or too far behind, we will feel exhausted and unhappy.

Don't rush to catch up with anybody.

Don't slow yourself down to wait for anybody.

Just keep going at your own pace.

There will always be some people around.

Is just a matter of finding those that would understand where you are and what you came through. These are your people.

Anyone else will not understand because they can't. They are in a different state of their evolution and will only frustrate you to expect from them any understanding.

It can be scary to walk alone. But if you think about it, we are the only ones inside our heads, with our thoughts, our pain, and fears. 

It will be fine if you stick to those who truly belong with you. For those you won't need to change your essence... You will refine your essence as you walk along.

sobre saúde mental

verdade seja dita... quem está saudável nunca vai compreender o doente

inédito

 desta vez eu não vou me dar ao luxo te sentir medo.

hopeless

 ainda não encontrei um jeito de preencher a vida com a sua ausência...

 

inacreditavel

 Fecho os meus olhos e te abraço na minha memória.

Ainda bem que tenho tantas memórias, porque preciso de socorro constantemente.

Eu quase consigo sentir sua mão tocando meus cabelos, enxugando a lágrima que rola pelo meu rosto... E os seus olhos cheios de fé e de vida, irradiando uma luz que ilumina toda a escuridão ao meu redor, e a sua voz tão linda e suave, tão meiga e tão amiga, tão envolvente me dizendo com tanta convicção que tudo vai ficar bem.

Nesse instante eu sinto paz de novo, nem que seja apenas por um segundo.

E nesse segundo eu sinto, pela primeira vez desde que você partiu, uma chama pequena e tímida, quase que instantaneamente se apagando mas que aquece o meu peito. E nesse segundo eu sinto que tudo vai ficar bem.

Até que o segundo passa, o instante acaba, a escuridão novamente me envolve, abro os meus olhos e o mundo ainda é o mesmo, o mesmo mundo que você deixou pra trás.

E nesse mundo onde você não está eu não sei se consigo mais acreditar que alguma coisa vai ficar bem.

Mas daquela chama que se apagou ainda vejo a fumaça se esvaindo no vento da tristeza que abate a minha alma.

desespero

 estou destruindo todos os rastros de quando eu tive esperança